Monday, April 13, 2015

More Fun Than A Barrel of Monkeys

Saturday morning before Logan's t-ball game they had team pictures. 
If you've never experienced the sheer JOY that is waiting in line for half an hour with eleven 3 year old boys and their younger siblings, and then trying to wrangle them all to one spot, make them sit still, and get them to look at the camera and smile simulateneously…. WELL. I pity the fool.
The photographer was really concerned about the angle of the bat and three balls sitting in front of the team. The logos needed to show just like so, the bat looked better at this angle... Meanwhile, we were all, "JUST TAKE THE PICTURE! GO GO GO!" because as soon as she would adjust the balls somebody would pick them up and throw them. Somebody else would start to wander off. Two were playing chase. One was throwing his hat up in the hair. Another one was crying. You know, just exactly like how the t-ball games go.
CC and Vinny's mom Stacey brought a bunch of books, because she's a genius like that, and for some bizarre reason both of my boys sat in the grass for a good ten minutes and flipped through the books together quietly. I can't make heads or tails of it, but I promise you I could bring all the books we own and they would never, ever replicate that kind of behavior ever again. 

Grammy and Mimi and even Pops came to watch Logan's game and cheer him on, which he loved. That and the snacks. I'm pretty sure that's his sole motivation for playing t-ball this season.

Saturday night we hired a sitter and went out with Jaymi and Cody. 
On the upside, I got a job.
We capped the night off at a fine establishment in Grapevine called Wilhoites. Something had gotten spilled on my shirt earlier in the night, so I got the brilliant idea to ask the manager if I could buy a Wilhoite's t-shirt. It's shocking, but I get the feeling that's not a request they often get. Call me an opportunist, but once I had the shirt I decided it seemed like a swell idea to find a tray and start taking orders and delivering drinks. And it worked too! People told me what they wanted, I relayed it to the bartender, he sat the drinks on the bar and I delivered them. Plus, maybe got us a couple of free drinks.

For a good five minutes, until the manager took the tray and shut down my operation, it was just like my Souper Salad days of yore. Well, save the fact that the drinks were actually iced teas and Carrie wasn't there. And also, 50% of my job didn't involve sweeping up raisins and tiny bits of ham off the carpet. (Now, I just do that at home every day of my life.) It was a good job while it lasted. On the downside, I actually lost money at that job when you factor in the cost of my work shirt. (Which is actually no different than the holiday season I worked at Bath & Body Works. I may not have started the new year with money in the bank, but what I did have was a lifetime supply of Cucumber Melon Body Splash and Freesia Lotion. So, winning!)

This morning we loaded up the boys in the pouring rain and headed to the Court House to get their passports. 
There is so much I could say about that whole experience, Nick was just laughing and shaking his head the whole time saying, "This is going to be a great blog post." But really, where do you even begin? A three year old and a one year old in a government office with three employees who have zero motivation to make things easy or efficient. You all know.
And yes, I just gave in and let them crawl all over the floor finally because Stacey wasn't there with her magic books. What are you gonna do? (Come home and bathe them in lye soap, that's what.)
And after it was all said and done, this is what we ended up with. Out of all the failed attempts at threats and bribes and stern voices and holding firmly by the shoulder, this was the best we could procure.
 Logan looks like a terrorist, and Everett one of his captives. Hopefully they let us into Canada.

When it was said and done Nick headed to work and we splashed over to Starbucks in our Crocs and rain boots. We earned our sugar and caffeine this time!

Friday, April 10, 2015

Take My Breath Away: Celebrity Edition

So here's the thing you all should know. 
I've decided to bring back the Kelly McGillis, Top Gun era hairstyle. 
For the better part of my adult life I have admired any type of hair other than my own straight, thick hair. Well, thanks to some magic tricks from my hair stylist Evan and Disney Surprise Eggs on the iPad to occupy the boys, the Kelly McGillis is now mine! I love it!! I feel so versatile!

Here's the other thing I feel like I should tell you. Yesterday I had not one but TWO celebrity encounters. One was a home run, the other was a complete strike out (See what I did there, on Texas Ranger's Opening Day, eh, eh?!?!) Before I get started down that rabbit trail, I should warn you also, that Nick says I am way too generous with the term "CELEBRITY." Okay, I get it. I'm not trying to imply I bumped into Tom Cruise at lunch or anything like that, but if you're on TV or your Instagram feed gets thousands of likes, you're a celebrity in my book.

So the first encounter was at Little Gym. There is a certain celebrity whose son goes to Little Gym with Everett. (Nick says "REALITY TV STAR," I say "CELEBRITY." Tomato. Tuh-mato.) So all of us moms kind of make small talk during Little Gym, and during every single class the celebrity keeps to herself and no one ever talks to her. So for a few weeks I've really wanted to go up and talk to her mostly because hello! celebrity!, but also because I really and truly did feel bad for her off by herself. I would do that with anyone who wasn't a celebrity, too. I happen to follow her on Instagram, and maybe one time on accident Andrea and I drove by her house since we knew it was closeby. Whatever. Beside the point. So I didn't want to walk up to her and be a super fan and annoy her, but then I also thought it was kind of disingenuous to pretend like I didn't know who she was. 

Nick got tired of listening to me antagonize over it every Thursday after Little Gym (and then call Andrea and antagonize some more), so finally he said, "Just go up and introduce yourself. I grew up with her husband, remember?"

So I decided I would stop being ridiculous and go introduce myself like any normal human on the planet would. Everett and her son were playing by each other at the beginning of class, so I just turned to her and said this, exactly. "Hi! I wanted to introduce myself. My name is Chelsea. I obviously recognize you from TV and everything, but also, my husband Nick grew up playing baseball with your husband."

And she turned to me with a completely blank face and said, "What's your husband's name?" 

I told her, and her response was simply, "Yeah. I don't recognize that name."

What do you say to that?? SO AWKWARD! "Yeah, they played baseball growing up. We also have some mututal friends, ___ and ___." 

She responded very curtly, and I made one more attempt at small talk, to ask about her older child and she was just not interested in talking to me at all. I smiled and tried to keep my distance for the rest of class. I really tried to give her the benefit of the doubt and think, maybe she was having a bad day like we all have sometimes, or maybe she was afraid I was going to ask her for a picture or draw attention to her, which I definitely was not. But it was still super awkward!! I was thinking about that when it was time to leave and I was putting Everett's shoes on, when another one of the moms I talk to a lot came up to me. She shook her head and said she had seen me talking to her. "She has a reputation for being really rude! I think everyone who lives around here has pretty much learned, it's not even worth trying to talk to her." 

How disappointing! I obviously have no clue what it's like to be in her shoes and have the hassle of being famous, but she sure is missing out on a lot of really nice people if that's truly her attitude. And she seems so bubbly and fun on TV! Not to mention, she and I were going to have some awesome lunch dates where she was going to give me all of the 411 on reality TV. SIGH. Guess I'll have to keep a lookout for my next celebrity friend ;)

The second "celebrity"I met yesterday was a writer I just love, Melanie Shankle from The Big Mama blog. She just published her third book called Nobody's Cuter Than You which is a memoir on friendship. I am about halfway through with the book, and it's great! She was signing books at Barnes & Noble in Dallas last night, so Kimba and I went to meet her.
Once again, Kimba and I debated back and forth what to say to her. We've both read her blog religiously for years and years and her first two books, so of course we feel like we know her. Yet, she has no clue who either of us are. That's definitely one of the strange things about the Internet and the world today. We ended up just saying the typical, "We love your writing, blah blah" like everybody else did, but it was great. Melanie was just as gracious and bubbly and kind in person as you would expect she is from her writing.

And obviously, by the look on my face, you can tell I know how to play it super smooth with celebrities. I'm not awkward AT ALL. 
(Can you believe this picture?? It was on Kimba's phone, the guy taking pictures snapped it. We laughed and laughed! I don't know what I was saying, but GAWD!)

Today the boys and I went to the zoo!
We met Logan's friend Weston from school, and his mom and older brother. The zoo was extremely crowded, but the weather was great and it ended up being a perfect zoo day. It was the first time I had taken both boys to the zoo, and it went well, although Logan was a little underwhelmed with the whole zoo going experience. I'm not sure what he was expecting, but he was very disappointed that the tigers couldn't get close enough to "almost bite him and take his toys with their triangle teeth." He was really seeking a thrill, I guess, and the zoo just didn't live up to his expectations.

And one last picture of sweet E, snoozing away in his car seat yesterday.
Nick is at the Rangers game this evening, and the boys are off to set up a lemonade stand with Jaymi and her boys after nap time. Spring time = a good time! Have a great weekend! 

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Logan's Lingo: Locks & Literal

*You forget how literal kids are. Logan is especially tricky, because a lot of times with him it's like you're talking to a 60 year old man, and then two seconds later his actual three-ness will reemerge and rear its ugly head and he will be in an absolute HEAP on the kitchen floor because the crust on his sandwich was "touching his cheek." WHAT??? Lately figures of speech have really been baffling him. Anything that is not absolutely literal, causes him to do a double take. (I'm going to run in the store. WHAT, RUN? He was taking his time. WHAT? WHO WAS TAKING SOMETHING?)

He loves this one song by Maroon 5 (he comes by it honestly) so we listen to it on repeat in the car a lot of times. The other day I was humming it and said something about it being stuck in my head. He squinted his eyes and cocked his head to the side and looked at me critically. Then he got a little grin on his face, like he was just waiting for me to say just kidding, and finally said, "NOOOOO! Mom!! It's not really STUCK IN YOUR HEAD!"

*Somewhere along the way he decided child locks (like the plastic kind that click over door knobs) are called padlocks. He told Jaymi that we took the "padlock" off his bedroom door. She was very confused.
*Also, these foam playground things ^^ are "websites." He moves his websites, builds his websites (which kinda makes sense) and stacks his websites. "Mom, get Everett! He's climbing on my websites." He will argue this with you 'til he's blue in the face. THEY ARE CALLED WEBSITES!

*Everything is a negotiation with Logan, or at least he makes an attempt for it to be.

"You can play for three minutes and then it's time to leave,"I'll say.
"Three long minutes or three short minutes? Because I want three long minutes."
"I'm not going to nap today. But I will stay in my bed and then I want three mints when I wake up." 
"Logan, if you do that again, I'm going to take away one of your toys," I'll say.
He'll think for a minute and then say, "Which toy?"

I'm sure this is more of a personality trait of his rather than him being three. Sometimes he is pretty clever, other times it just wears me out.

*The most awesome, unusual thing he says right now is definitely that he calls me Chels. Now it's just a habit and he's not even trying to be funny when he does it. It doesn't matter where we're at; in public or at home,  about 75% of the time I'm "Chels."

"Chels! Can you get me some juice?" 
"What are we having for lunch today, Chels?"
"Chels! I need to pee pee!"
"What did you say, Chels?"

The other day I ACTUALLY had the bathroom door shut for once in my life, and he started knocking on it and yelled, "Do you need some privacy in there, Chels????"

I've seen his teachers at preschool do a double take when he says it, but in my head, I just pretend I'm too young to be his mother. Don't mind me, I'm just Chels the nanny. Otherwise, it feels little too close for comfort to this, from Wedding Crashers:

Fearfully and wonderfully made. And 100% three year old boy.

Also, last week Logan's teachers mailed this note to us. It absolutely made my week. 
They called our boy thoughtful and kind and polite! It is such a privilege to be his mom.

Monday, April 6, 2015

Ghosts of Easters Past: A DECADE!

I did a quick search through old pictures, followed by some mental math (plus 9, carry the 1) and it would appear Nick and I have spent TEN Easter Sundays together. TEN! That's kind of crazy.

Here is a quick jog down the lane o' memories.
2006- A couple of young pups, and I was feeling ballsy in my strapless dress, Nick formal in his suit.
We had just met in January and been dating a couple of months. We spent Easter at Al & Teri's (first offish holiday) with his family and mine. Looking back, two things. The strapless dress was a bad call for a first family gathering. Second thing, our dating/engagement was SO FAST. (Logan and Everett don't you DARE bring a girl in a strapless dress and her family to Easter after only three months! DON'T YOU DARE!) It sure didn't feel that way at the time. 

2007- According to my sources, Easter weekend 2007 was when it snowed unexpectedly, I had my first bridal shower, we closed on our first home, and we moved. Understandably, this was the only picture.

2008- Thankfully, I classed it up a bit with the cardi. This was Nick's and my first Easter MARRIED! We were married in June of the previous year. I had to include the picture of Andrea & I because my memory of this Easter is she and I made these delicious orange creamsicle drinks, and she and I were in the thick of BFF Sisters-in-law! =) Also, are we in the pool or aren't we?!?! The world will never know. (Love your hair here, Andrea!!)
2009- Hi Chris!!! Welcome to the family!!!! Note to Chelsea and Nick of times past- take the baskets and RUN! See those baskets filled to the brim with goodies just for you? That's the last you'll see of those. In 2015, the only thing in your hot little hands will be a pair of boys.
2010- There is zero record of Easter's existence in 2010. Nada. It's like it never happened. Then again, that's when Nick was finishing up chemo so I'm not really sure we knew much about anything that year. I seem to remember that maybe Andrea's bachelorette party was Easter weekend (Andrea or Jenny help me out here!!), hence the pic above. If that's the case, we probably spent Easter posted up on Al & Teri's couch eating Taco Bueno bean burritos and trying to rehydrate and nap it off. I can't confirm or deny.
2011- Ahh!! SO fun!!! I WAS PREGNANT. Nick and I had juuuuust found out and hadn't told a soul.   We were over the moon excited! I think I was like 6 weeks along and wore a flowy shirt because I thought I was showing (HA. HAHAHAHA!) I was super sneaky and fake drank mimosas at brunch. I was so overjoyed that I cried during the church service. Happy memories!
2012- Logan's first Easter!!!
2013- Logan's first Easter where he could sort of do stuff! (I thought he looked SO cute that year!!!!)
2014- Everett's first Easter!!! (And I wore the same dress as the year before- busted!) Sweet Everett was just a couple of weeks old, I think.
2015- Two strapping young lads!!! Hands down, our very best Easter yet! 

I love you Nick! What an adventure we've had!! Can't wait to see what the next ten+++ look like. (NO GIRLS IN STRAPLESS DRESSES, BOYS!)

Easter Weekend: Proud as Punch

I just uploaded our Easter pictures to my computer, and I have to admit, I must have looked at them five different times. I keep clicking through them and looking at our boys' sweet faces and the precious ages they're at, and thinking-- how it's possible I don't see this every day? I see them, but I don't see them if that makes any sense at all. 

I'm often so distracted by the food that needs to be cut up, and the diapers that need changing and the sippy cups that need filling and the general busyness of wrangling a one and a three year old, it's easy to miss how precious and perfect they are right now, right before my eyes. We had a great Easter this year!

On Saturday morning Nick went with two of his friends in our neighborhood to something called Cars and Coffee up in Plano they go to once a month. The boys and I were up early too, so we decided to tackle some errands. 
When it's early Saturday morning and your pj's are this cute-- you wear them out!!

We had pictures taken late Saturday afternoon. They were actually Everett's one year photos, but much to Nick's delight, we took some family pictures as well. Okay, here's the thing about pictures…. at least pictures for my family… no matter how well they may or may not go-- they are a total whip. It's always worth it, and I *LOVE* family pictures so I press on, but man!!

Nick absolutely hates taking pictures, so that's the first obstacle to overcome. Then, trying to coordinate what everyone will wear, getting everybody spit shined and out the door on time, trying to corral the kids (AND the husband who was the worst behaved out of all of them this go around!!) to capture said pictures… listen, I realize this isn't exactly an actual life problem, but none the less, it's enough to drive a person to drink.

And so that's exactly what I did when the pictures were finished! We took the pictures in Ft. Worth and  made a pit stop by Joe T's for some fajitas and 'ritas to soothe the family picture PTSD.
"Mama just wants a little something presentable to hang above the mantle and use for her Facebook profile pic. Is that too much to ask, boys?!?!"

I kid, but also, I kinda don't. WHIPPING BUT WORTH IT.
A few drinks, some chips & salsa, fajitas, and a mariachi band-- The Salomones were good as gold.

And good thing, because the boys wore their Easter clothes for the pictures and I had this pie in the sky dream that they would keep them clean enough to wear them to church the following morning. Nick laughed hard when I mentioned that. Nick was right. Good thing I only had one margarita. So that night I rewashed, redried, reironed, and relaid out everybody's clothes for church.
And snuck in a little covert op. with the Easter Bunny while I was at it.

Sunday morning we went to 9:00 church with my mom and Al & Teri. I have to give props to Nick and I, it was our smoothest holiday morning yet. Three years in and we're finally getting the hang of it!! By some stroke of luck and skill, we were out the door for church in plenty of time with minimal stress. Everyone was dressed, fed, watered and we had even gotten the house picked up before leaving. Probably, we'll never replicate it.
Part of our success can be attributed to the fact that my grandma Jeanice sent the boys all kinds of treats, including a box of 36 Easter eggs that thrilled Logan to no end, and he sat (in his undies) and opened each egg one by one while Everett watched. (Disney Surprise Eggs, real life edition?!?!) This bought me some good getting ready time. 

After church we went to Al & Teri's, and Nick's grandparents and JG & Stacey joined us for brunch. 
We had a leisurely afternoon, Everett ended up taking a nap and Logan was occupied with his new Easter treats so we were actually able to sit around the table and enjoy the delicious food and one another's company. It was great!

These were the pictures I loved so much: 

Official Easter 2015 Family Pics: Proud as punch that these three handsome fellas are mine--

 And finally, a winner!!

We had a wonderful Easter celebration this year, and I hope you did too!