Tool #1- Positive Parenting Solutions
Tool #2- Plan to Eat
Tool #3: Kids & Food
Posted by ChelseaSalomone at 3:11 PM
Posted by ChelseaSalomone at 9:53 PM
Posted by ChelseaSalomone at 8:00 AM
I sat down to write this post and then got interrupted by a call from the peanut gallery to come upstairs and rewarm an eye pillow. I'm afraid I've created a bit of a monster.
Logan and I have this thing for lavender eye pillows at the moment. You see, he and I each have these silk eye pillows with rice and real lavender inside. You stick them in the microwave and 20 seconds later, you have yourself the coziest, most delicious smelling, warm pouch of relaxation and goodness imaginable. You can put them over your eyes, on the back of your neck, on your chest... the possibilities are practically endless. Any time we're headed to bed he and I are sure to have our warm eye pillows in tow. Why wouldn't you, really?
Well, this whole eye pillow business is about to drive Nick nuts. He thinks our eye pillows are totally ridiculous and the rice stinks, and he can't understand why we are always making a fuss about them. And I admit, it's gotten a bit out of hand.
It all started a month or two ago when Logan was coughing, I was trying to think of something warm to put on his chest. It dawned on me to use a lavender eye pillow I had in my night stand. I rubbed some essential oils on Logan's chest and set the warm eye pillow on top like a compress. Well, believe you me, Logan was a fan of the eye pillow after that. So then any time he was headed to bed he wanted to take my eye pillow with him. One fateful night when we were in the throes of the stomach bug, I had to change his sheets in the middle of the night and ye old eye pillow got washed and ruined. Naturally, this devastated us both, so I got online and ordered a new eye pillow for each of us. We anxiously checked the front porch for packages every day (Logan sometimes 3 or 4 times a day), and our new eye pillows eventually arrived and the two of us have never felt more relaxed or cozy as we sleep.
But you know what is the last thing a three year old needs? Something to be more high maintenance about or a way to stretch out bedtime even longer. Warming up his eye pillow and then calling us to come rewarm it because it was "warming off" (cooling off) was becoming a regular occurrence. And I'm sorry, I'm here to serve, but this isn't the freaking Grand Wailea Resort & Spa. I don't have time to be warming eye pillows on a whim.
So Nick and I had to taper him off. He is now allowed one eye pillow warming per day at nap or at bed time, and that is it. Poor thing, he is just living an insufferable existence! His wife may one day hate me for this, but I promise, I'll instill ten other good husbandly habits in him for this one minor blip. So the kid likes a warm lavender eye pillow, who can blame him?
Speaking of Logan and sleep- THANK GOODNESS- nap times have returned in full effect. We had about 3-4 weeks there that were seriously a struggle every single day. He and I would engage in a full blown power struggle when it was nap time, and I would find myself yelling, threatening and on some occasions even spanking him. I honestly hated the parent I was being when it came time for his nap. I'm really not a yeller or a freak out kind of mom (even if I'm yelling or freaking out on the inside), but I just didn't know what else to do. He was pushing me past the limits of my patience. There were several days I would go downstairs while he kicked and screamed and banged on his door and just cry out of anger or frustration, because I didn't know what else to do and I hated he was getting the best of me. The end result was always: Logan wouldn't nap, I was all wound up, and by 4:30 or 5:00 he was in full emotional melt down mode.
There are only so many times you can call your husband at work to vent or your mother-in-law or your mom or your best friends, before you just have to regroup and say, this is NOT working- we need a new game plan.
It may seem like a minor thing (and in the grand scheme of things it is), but I spent a lot of time praying about it and just asking God for some guidance on how to be a better parent in this situation. I felt like I was doing a disservice to us both. What ended up happening was I signed up for the Positive Parenting Solutions video lessons to get some fresh ideas and tools. Then, the very next day I went to MOPS and our speaker just happened to be a lady teaching about Love & Logic. The irony of that is, one summer I was a trainer of trainers for Love & Logic in the classroom, so it was all stuff I knew, I had just forgotten or somehow stopped using on my own kid.
I can't tell you what a difference those two things made, mainly with me, which then of course impacted Logan. Now, his nap times have returned to exactly how they used to be- a no fuss deal (minus the occasional eye pillow requests), and he naps for a couple of hours pretty much every single day. Sanity and peace have returned, and it's glorious!!!
Here is what worked for us in that specific situation:
More than one magical thing that fixed everything, it was more of an attitude shift from me that transferred to him. I quit getting worked up and emotional and freaking out that he wasn't sleeping and was going to be tired and ruin our evening etc. etc.
I sat him down one morning and told him we weren't going to keep doing the things we were doing at nap time. I told him I wasn't going to yell at him or spank him any more, and that from now on, I expected him to stay in his bed quietly until nap time was over. (He knows nap time is over when the green light on his clock comes on.) I told him if he chose to come out of his room or throw a fit at nap time, then we would have to put the child lock (or padlock, as you may recall) back on his door until nap time was over. I also told him he didn't have to sleep (this was a hard one for me to say), but that he did have to rest quietly in his bed until his light came on. And then, what we've always done is- if he naps that day, he gets to stay up later after his bath and watch movies or play. If he doesn't nap, he goes right to bed after bath time when Everett goes to bed. For Logan, I think this system helps motivate him to nap tremendously.
I need to wrap this up now, because nap time is quickly coming to a close. This was such a random post, and nothing I intended to write about today. I am headed to the New Kids on the Block and Nelly concert tonight (!!) so I need to get my pleather pants washed and butterfly clips in my hair before the boys wake up. I'll leave you with a picture of my smiley lunch partner:
Posted by ChelseaSalomone at 3:41 PM
Posted by ChelseaSalomone at 3:21 PM